The Purpose Model

A few years ago, I had major FOMO. It wasn't for parties or engagements or vacations. It was for people who seemed to have it all figured out when it came to their life mission—teachers and CEOs and missionaries who loved their work.

After striving for a sense of purpose for years and not getting anywhere, I gave up. I began to think:

Maybe some people were gifted with vocations and others of us weren't.

A depressing line of thought, no?

It wasn't until I began reading psychological research on the different elements that lead to fulfillment, that I began to understand the truth. It isn't that you either have a calling or you don't.

Instead, callings are crafted.

If we want more purposeful lives, we can't sit around waiting for God to deliver our life direction on a silver platter. We must seek it out!

The more I got into the research, the clearer it became that this concept of self-actualization is complex. It's tied to attachment, school experiences, beliefs about money, personality types, trauma, etc. But I believe that I've synthesized the information to its most applicable components.

When I first went about doing the research for this, I assumed the requirements to fulfillment would include deep soul-searching and endless hours of hard work. While I wasn't completely wrong, purpose goes deeper than I originally thought.

Unfortunately, there isn't a quick checklist to finding fulfillment.

Instead, becoming truly aligned starts with character transformation. As you read over the components below, consider where you're at with each of them. If they're weaker than you'd like, don't worry! We'll be going over how to strengthen them in future blogs and videos :)

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FOUNDATIONAL CHARACTER CAPACITIES (roots)

Hope

Nothing happens without hope. Motivation is grounded in the belief that you  have the ability to change your life and perhaps, even your own self. If there is no faith that you can grow or impact the world, there is no reason to make an effort. Having dreams for yourself and others is crucial to beginning the journey of self-actualization. 

Courage

Courage means risking discomfort, embarrassment, and failure. Though courage must be tempered with wisdom, it is a crucial element to becoming a fully actualized adult. Instead of living from a place of avoidance, you pursue goodness and bravely face challenges. You are willing to put in effort and suffer for the things that matter. Though you may feel afraid, you fight past those feelings and put yourself out there. 

Self-Worth:

Self-worth means having an internal sense of your innate value. You believe that you are designed with intention and love. Instead of placing excessive blame on yourself or critiquing the way you’re wired, you accept and appreciate yourself. Out of this security, you navigate life with confidence and openness. You take care of yourself well, maximize your opportunities, and dismiss any experience that attempts to cause self-doubt. Your certainty of your own worth grounds your perspective on work and purpose. You know that you are enough just as you are. 

Realism 

Is the practice of being honest with yourself. It is the accuracy with which you assess your options and which is the most practical for you. This does not mean you compromise your dreams--in fact, for many people it means choosing the “riskier” option. The essence of realism is making sure your “what,” “when,” and “how” match your “why.” To start, try seeing reality as friend rather than a threat—or at least, begin to get curious about the world outside your experience of it.

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When looking at the model, you might have noticed that all the good stuff we want—alignment, self-trust, vocation, and impact are the fruits. This is because we have to work on the roots and the trunk first before we can get there.

Before we move on to the trunk of self-actualization, I want to point out that the main way we cultivate these foundational capacities is through grace, truth, and time (John Townsend, Changes that Heal).

Later, we'll get more into specific strategies and beliefs for each component but for now, all you need to know is that these capacities can be improved. Even, if like me, you've struggled with certain ones your whole life, change is possible. Don't lose heart!

The next section elements are the Fundamental Skills. These aren't quite as overwhelming as the abstract character capacities because they're more tangible and check-listy :)

However, don't assume they're an easy one-and-done type thing. In fact, if we're truly dedicated to the pursuit of purpose, we'll be re-assessing and refining these abilities for the rest of our lives. Also, with the advent of AI and major changes to our conceptions of meaningful work, we'll need to strengthen on these skills more than ever before.

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THE FUNDAMENTAL SKILLS

(trunk)

Self-Understanding 

Self-understanding is the foundation of intrapersonal intelligence. You can all of the hope, courage, and realism in the world--but if you do not know your own self--those capacities cannot culminate in a meaningful way. In order to craft a purposeful life for yourself, you have to know your own strengths, weaknesses, dreams, and struggles. You cannot live aligned unless you have discovered your values, talents, and goals. It doesn't hurt to understand how you're wired either—there are a plethora of personality tests out there that can give you great insight.

Authentic Expression: 

You consistently express your authentic self with ease. Even when others may judge you, you courageously hold to your beliefs and show up for yourself. When making decisions, you filter them through what aligns with your unique vision for your life. You may choose not to share certain truths with others but you do so out of confidence, not out of fear. Because

you validate yourself, you do not seek recognition from others. Your boundaries as well as your selective openness are intentional. Becoming your most genuine self is of great importance to you. Therefore, you consistently attune to yourself and adjust your life to better reflect the true you. 

Meaningful Goals: 

You have meaningful goals that energize you. You live with direction and focus as you work towards achieving desired results. You wisely set your intentions, drawing upon your self-understanding and realism. Your aims are significant to you and intrinsically motivating. Because of this, external criticism and difficulties to not make you question them. Only encountering new truths could prompt you to adjust your goals. You habitually set specific, measurable objectives that align with your heart and reality. 

Committed Action:

You show up in alignment with your core values, and put in committed action towards your goals.  You are motivated by vision for your future, and a desire to make it a reality. You make strategic plans, prioritize productivity, and set up systems to keep yourself on-task. You persistently put in effort and are not deterred by setbacks. You are disciplined in your pursuit of purpose. 

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This model has been a game-changer for me. As someone who tends to be results oriented, I never saw the value in focusing on things like character capacities or general life skills. Instead, I'd rush into the next certificate, job, or specialized skill that I was convinced would give me the sense of peace and meaning I craved.

But here's the thing—there are no shortcuts.

Even people who discover their "thing" very early in life aren't able to fully enjoy it or live up to their full potential if they lack these capacities and skills.

Is it difficult to grow in these areas? Sure. It takes grit and grace and patience.

And it's all worth it. Because it leads to a stronger, more aligned you.

I recently heard a quote: "the path the hell feels like heaven, and the path to heaven feels like hell."

And though it's not my favorite theologically, it totally captures the road to becoming a person of integrity and intention. So, let's get started :)

Until next time,

Megan <3